Wednesday, June 24, 2009

mother of mary, million dollar lunatics

man oh man but the specials bring out the freaks.

unsweet tea lady (have i written about her?) shows up typically close to closing time and orders the 545 while bitching about the toilet rocking back and forth (yes its coming off the floor but your 3 foot wide ass doesnt help), asking for her sandwiches "one at a time" and spreading out 6 months worth of junk mail to sort through and hanging out until i cut off the lights. then when i help her get her shit out to her car cuz i'm nice (and i really want to go home) she goes on a rant about our full trashcans, infestation, and bulldyke haircuts. then she "left her lights on" so i had to pull around and make sure her car started. thank god it did cuz i dont have cables anyway!

she also asked us to take her remaining beef chunks out of the bag so they could "cool down" (they are lukewarm to begin with!) so that she can freeze them when she gets home. talk about a nasty future snack.

tonite a guy pulls in, presumably somewhat hammered, and makes a big deal about ordering something that wont take long to make so that he doesnt "make the cook mad" cuz he knows we are about to close (thx for the respex), yet even after much prodding and suggestions winds up ordering standard fare and takes a full ten minutes just to order and then holds up the line trying to pick up the lady working drive thru. this guy made us laugh our asses off after a very rough night. thx hammered guy!

after him is another drunk that asks who he's speaking with (who asks this in drive thru?) so that he knows who to call when he's ready. lots of people listening man, just holla. we are all electronically connected to these sweaty ass headsets. orders finally and tried to pick up said drive thru young lady right after wierd "piss off the cook" (we have a cook?) guy has given her his card and said to call him for a good time.

numerous other freaks have shown up but i cant remember them now for some reason. it's been rough. we also have new hire pains going on right now as we finally start to get busy again because of the lauded 545 special. of course the minute i schedule someone to train on a "slow" shift, that shift becomes a clusterfuck of the most confusing and retarded customers. so my trainee learned basically nothing tonite. plus he came in late, unshaven, AND stoned! fuck man where do i find these ppl.

the shake machine breaks, and surprisingly only 3 ppl tried to order shakes. usually when you are out of something or required equipment isnt working, everyone wants what you cant make. this one lady comes in and orders fruit tea with no ice (disgusting syrupy madness) and surprisingly likes it. another couple orders pepsi and dr pepper only to complain that they are overcarbonated. overcarbonated? seriously! who writes this shit! chick substitutes a lemonade and homey tries the sobe energy drink. "what flavor is it?" "um dude it just says sobe energy. it's yellow. that tell you anything?" and finally settles on an "overcarbonated" pepsi instead. at least they were really nice about it and had a good laugh with me. god knows i need it.

meanwhile after giving two weeks notice at my hated job, my new (hopeufully) job is giving me the runaround on training and work schedules. there is a conflict between my school schedule and training, or the full time schedule, or whatever.

for fucks sake people! part time is fine! just get me in there and we'll figure it out! my god stop screwing me around and let me do a damn fine job for you! and please dont make me have to slink back to my current employer and say "actually it didnt work out. i am your slave for another indefinite period of time." i really dont want to do that. and to top it all off? today i get a jury duty summons! fuck you, voter registration! i didnt sign up to sit on a jury! i just wanted to vote for ron paul! and i did and i knew he wouldnt win. i'm just principled like that. but the kicker is that this jury duty starts right when my training class is supposed to! so here is the state trying to fucking hold me down for god knows what minor case in the middle of me trying to turn the pages of my goddamn life! you know, i love courtroom dramas. i used to watch the practice and ally mcbeal and one of my favorite shows is harvey birdman, attorney at law, and my favorite ds game is phoenix wright ace attorney! so i would seriously love to go to jury duty. just NOT RIGHT NOW FOR GOD'S SAKE!

i will break down these goddamn barriers and i will prevail. nothing can stop me. i mean that with everything that i am. keep throwing it at me and i will shovel your shit out of my way!

FUCK!

in other news i used my mechanical skills to install two license plate lamp assemblies on my POS van. there is absolutely no information on this on the internet, and even my dad couldnt tell me how to do it. but god damn i pulled it off. i had to do this to pass my inspection. so i go to the inspection station and guess what? i got turned away because they had RUN OUT OF STICKERS! FUCK YOU BUREAUCRACY + SATELLITE COMPANIES THAT ALLOW ME TO COMPLY WITH THE LAW! wasting all my fucking time.

how do you run out of stickers?

FUCK FUCK FUCK!

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