Monday, August 14, 2006

never again, no me gusta el comida china

well, i'm not swearing it off, just not in such large quantities. i fear i may never shit again.

i've been sitting here for 4 hours. that's half my shift.

i'm such a bastard. i guess i'll go do something now...

you know as good as singapore mei fun and szechuan wontons are, dont eat them three days in a row. at least, not the whole container, of both, three times, in three days.

i dont recommend it.

all day i have looked exactly like i just fell out of bed. i cant get my eyes to open up.

i am both excited and nervous, for my poonem doth come to me, and i leave on the monday. i still have some things to do, and of course i just realized these things now that i have a mere 3 days left to do them. hooray, procrastination, welcome, indigestion.

i like how i can have 24 friends on my front page, and only six of them are people i actually know. the rest are bands which i dearly love. i need to update that thing... maybe one day when i have nothing better to do.

oh, cool new blogs:

http://www.baristabrat.blogspot.com/
http://widelawns.blogspot.com/
http://www.stripclubserver.blogspot.com/

i usually link but i'm too tired to tag. i think i may be on the verge of some sort of intestinal epiphany, and i'm going to get some coffee to make sure that i see the light.

hail the porcelain gods!!

sz.sw.out

Thursday, August 10, 2006

sturm der ewigkeit

i love myspace for one reason: the ability to keep up with the musicians i love and to find out who they love, who inspires them and who they listen to. i started at the scandy page, and following the trail of friends wound up in so many places, found so much new music. then i found corvus corax's page, and through that i have discovered so many new bands who are wonderful in so many ways.

i also note quite a bit of anti bush sentiment from these euro folk!

well, it is not surprising. anti american and anti bush sentiment is not only widespread but chic in so many places. but you have to remember that heads of state do not represent individuals, policy does not reflect sentiment, necessarily. generalizations and stereotypes make up much of the average persons view of foreigners and nations in general. it is a sad state of affairs, but i expect little more from the human psyche. there i go, generalizing! we are all guilty. for months now i have withdrawn my nose from world affairs and become little more than a UN observer, in that i can only watch as governments and religions vie for power and land, as religious factions hold centuries old grudges , as so many cannot figure out who is winning, but we all know who is losing. well, most of us...

as civilizations war and heal, rise and fall, create and destroy, love and lose, we have been there to both stoke the flames and put out the fires. empires rise and fall, and i will always have an eye trained on the war and the peace.

but while in this body it is inherent that i live as well as i can. i'm glad that in this age we have the internet to connect us. even as rockets fall on towns in israel and missiles are fired from jets into lebanon, people on both sides are carrying on a conversation that eclipses what their leaders say. the "leaders" of any country have little more on their minds than power and money, and

oh the hell with it. i've said it a thousand times if i've said it once.

i try to concern myself with what i'm going to do in the coming year. i've come to slightly idolize andy laplegua, because as far as music goes he embodies what i want to do: to have a project for each form of music i like. i have such an eclectic taste and i am going to make sure that over the next few years i have at least a few established psuedonyms that i will be working under. if nothing more than an idea, a few songs, some equipment and an internet presence, i will have them. there is yet a lot of time and money to be invested, but soon there will be nothing stopping me, there will be no constraints on my time and energy as there are here, i'll be posting life on a new blog of the mind. my mind. my space, my music, my life.

things are looking up, friends. and with a little effort, they will keep their eyes to the sky.

sz.sw.out

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

if i had brown skin, would you still ask after my beliefs?

today someone at work asked me good naturedly (i still cant figure out how he did this), well he didnt ask me, he just relayed the information with a smile:

"hey, somebody told me you worship the devil!"

first reaction, internally:

really? who was it, so i can sacrifice a newborn and make a blood oath to my dark red god on the eve of the full moon so that he might destroy their life and make them suffer an eternity of misfortune and pain?

what i actually said:

no, i worship cardboard boxes. that's why i work here, in a stockroom. so that i might be with my idols.

either way, what is it that makes people think they can just willy nilly ask after a relative stranger's religion or sexual orientation? why is it that they only ask white people who wear black or are effeminate in some way? the obvious answer is complete ignorance and a lack of class. the reason behind the obvious is that its easy to ridicule someone who is white and possibly of some sort of religious or sexual minority. would you ask a southeast asian if they are hindu or buddhist or muslim? would you ask any black person if they practice voodoo? no, because to offend these people is taboo, and self censorship is rampant in these instances. but the girly white kid who wears those "funny britches" is fair game. people in general are pretty stupid.

i'm sick of eating the typical american diet. i cant wait til i live on my own so i can implement a healthier regimen. i hate all this starchy meaty greasy heavy food that my family eats, and i hate all of the fast food that is available. soon i will implement my changes and i wont have to put up with indigestion and horrible shits all the time.

there are a lot of people here at work who are getting on my fucking nerves. its never happened before. i'm just now noticing that they bother me. i'm glad i'm quitting. but it's sad to have to hear all of the people that i like here say "oh, i'm so sorry you're leaving. we'll miss you, and good luck!" those people arent so bad. working at arby's is going to suck, but at least i wont have to wait a long time to transfer between jobs.

i'm sick of not having my own bed and my own space. only 11 more days. well, thats until i leave. after that it will probably be a few days before i get my own place, and a few weeks after that until it is comfortably furnished in a minimalist, nomadic style. well, for all the trouble, i cant wait to get started.

sz.sw.out

Monday, August 07, 2006

a little whateher

i have almost nothing to do tonite and the boss is out for the rest of the week so i thought i'd put down some shite.

i hate the fact that i have a sex drive. its more trouble than its worth.

now that i've got everything in order and i'm moving in 2 weeks, sometimes it feels like its not really happening.

saving every cent i have over the next two weeks is going to be rough, because i am used to drinking every nite, which gets expensive. i've got to save it all though, because the transition between jobs always takes longer than anticipated.

today, cigarettes dont have their usual kick.

i need a drink.

that is all.

sz.sw.out

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

take a look at this whateher

well! its finally goin down. i couldnt be happier! well, i would be if i had bought enough beer. but, what can you do. i need to get up early anyway. i'm moving! its a definite, people, all systems are go. i've told my parents, i've made my preparations. i have a few more trivial things to do, but the wheels have been set in motion. there is no stopping this thing now. as that one rap song says, "its goin down". i threw away a bunch of crap and abandoned the idea of driving there, because its too expensive (gas) and my car would only make it with three wings and the prayers of an entire congregation. i have few possessions left, only the necessities as i see them, and, well, there is just no turning back. there would be, if i was a weak kneed whateher. but, as they say, i aint. i'm ready to rock. there are a few loose ends to tie up, there are a couple things to do, but the workload is surprisingly slim. after this week its just a countdown, i'll have my shit togeher, i'll have my ticket, i'll be ready to go. and i am not coming back.

and you know what? it feels fucking great.

sz out