two decks. mixer. mic. yes, i could do weddings. if you're into that type of thing. i want to dj at clubs. weddings, bar mitzvahs, i could do those too. but i'm not your average joe dj, i dont play whitesnake and i dont know shit about the beatles. i often fantasize about doing sets at clubs on a goth or 80's nite, but one thing troubles me. i have a pretty massive music collection. i could do at least a 4 hour set, probably more. i could make a jammin mix tape in no time. but the thing that bothers me is, does anyone want to hear the shit i get down to?
the music i like is already several steps down in any sub genre tree you could imagine. in the US, its even further down the trunk, or up depending on the graph. i know a few people that listen to the goth/industrial genre, and know a bit about the shite. but what about all the sub-genres? what about noise? powernoize? medieval electro? death rock? super pop? all of these names mean different things to different people. but in the US, i have been to quite a few "goth" nites at various clubs, and have talked to a few "goth" people about music. we can all agree that cabaret voltaire and bauhaus or joy division are gothic rock. we know that VNV and apoptygma berzerk are definitely "goth industrial", but how broad is that shit? at what point did einsturzende neubauten become "goth industrial"? how about melotron? camouflage? the only thing they have in common is that they are electronic. they are no more goth than britney spears, if you consider the image and sometimes the subject matter, but at a certain point shit becomes ubiquitous within a subculture, whether it is bout it or not.
the thing that bothers me is that if i were to dj a set somewhere, i just couldnt be sure that people would like it. not to say that's what its all aboot, but djing is about making people move, dance, and enjoy themselves while they are out. so of course, to a certain extent, they are going to want to hear shit that they dig. this is where i run into a problem. in all of the goth (using the term loosely) clubs/parties i have been to, the dj has had a very limited knowledge of the hugely varied genres and bands that make up the electro/industrial/ebm/goth (whatever) scene. their sets are limited to maybe 15 or 20 acts that everyone knows about. VNV, APB, funker vogt, skinny puppy, NIN, wumpscut, assemblage 23, front line assembly, i mean i could go on, but not on and on. if the average motherfucker from my sub or sub-sub-subculture (however deep you want to go, and it does go that deep) took a look at my box of records, they wouldnt know what the fuck they are looking at. in strict confidence? girls under glass? trans-x? aslan faction? spetsnaz? l'ame immortelle? on and on, shit that you may or may not have heard, but all of it shit that i have never heard played live here in the states. ever.
the thing that bugs me is, will my sub-sub-subculture shit fly well enough that the crowd enjoys it? or will everybody just sit around off to the side until i throw on "let the wind erase me" which i think totally sucks? i like hip hop too, to a certain extent, but throwin on a few songs that i like at a club will not get the same reaction as puttin on the latest thing that is being shoved down their throats such as beyonce's latest vocal vomit "check up on it" with its infantile lyrics, annoying melody and dirt shit drumbeats.
so i'm dealing with an offbeat culture that revels in being out of the mainstream, but they totally have their own shit that is mainstream to them, and i dont like or own most of it. i am so far down the tunnel of underground music that there may be no turning back.
or i could move to europe. everybody knows this shit there. where do you think i get all this shit from?
in other news...
apparently the folks at work have found someone to replace the somewhat ditzy but nice coworker i used to have on nite shift. she moved to virginia for some reason. she was nice and all but i wasnt too broken up about it. in my line of work you lift heavy shit constantly. yet somehow the stockroom/receiving team is comprised of 60% women. older women, with recurring injuries. women who claim they cannot lift anything over 15 pounds (although the job description clearly states that you must be able to lift 50-70 lbs and up to 100 lbs at times) but i know that they go home and do laundry, and a basket of clothes can weigh as much as 20 lbs. gallon of milk? no problem. box of metal? sorry, call one of the dudes over. i am all for equal opportunity, for you right to do the same job as me, but dont you think you ought to be able to do the same job that i do if you are hired for it?
all that aside, we have enough strong people to get by, and i thoroughly enjoy most of my coworkers' company. the last girl that worked nites with me was nice, but i tell ya she was an mtv kinda kid. she drank to excess all the time with her friends, but then frowned at me and called me an alcoholic when i related the fact that i generally drink at least 2 beers a day (by myself, oh the horror!). she loved paris hilton and laguna beach, and all that shite. she was a nice enough kid, but just way too shallow for me. for christ's sake, she would lament to no end about how her parents were, say, buying her younger brother a new car because he wrecked his, but she cant get a new car too. "but you drive a 2005 mitsu lancer" i said. "yeah but its just not faaaairrr!". i kid you not. all that aside, i digress.
i've been working by myself for about 2 months now, and reveling in every minute of it. i love being alone at work. even the extra workload has not phased me. but in order for me to be able to call in sick or take some days off without my department getting fucked, i need someone else. so i knew eventually they would get somebody, and hoped that it would be someone who could literally pull their own weight, as in i wouldnt have to lift all of their heavy shit as well as the stuff i have to deal with on a daily basis, which is the way it was with the last girl.
but lo and behold, a couple days ago i walked in to hear my two (count em two) bosses chattering about someone they just interviewed for the position. one looked at me and said "ooooh man if this goes through you owe us man, you owe us." of course i'm like "dude what the hell are you going on about" and through their ramblings i figure out that they have interviewed some young woman for the position that is currently empty, namely my right hand (wo)man on nite shift. why should i owe you? its your job to hire someone else, seeing as how we are short staffed, i'm thinking. "she's hot man, she's hot" they say. oh great, you are hiring another girl that cant pull her fucking weight around here, i am going to have to listen to her incessant chatter about mtv and fallout boy, and be her little bitch when it comes to lifting anything over 5 pounds. thanks guys, i really "owe you one".
you know, until today i really thought that most people were hired on their merits, and not their looks/race/connections. i am so totally wrong.
the really irritating thing is how they assume that i am some sort of lecher, and start telling me that i need to "stay off of her" because she's only 19. i keep telling them, i dont give a flying pig's fuck who she is, what she looks like, or whose neice she is, all i want is someone with a strong back who can follow directions. of course, this seems absurd and they havent listened to me since i started saying this. and the whole time they are assuming i am just some skag out to bag her in the screw room (we really have a stockroom called the screw room) is totally offensive to me. but i have to play along with their macho bullshit, and they have no idea about the fact that i will never have another girlfriend, nor the fact that i prefer men, because hell if i told them that then my job would be at the least uncomfortable, and at the most in serious jeopardy. yeah, it's that kind of town.
so my question is, if i'm the one that needs to stay off of her 19 year old ass, then why are you hiring her specifically because of the fact that you will now be able to stare at said hind quarters all day?
i dont fucking get it. and my back doesnt get it either.