Monday, August 14, 2006

never again, no me gusta el comida china

well, i'm not swearing it off, just not in such large quantities. i fear i may never shit again.

i've been sitting here for 4 hours. that's half my shift.

i'm such a bastard. i guess i'll go do something now...

you know as good as singapore mei fun and szechuan wontons are, dont eat them three days in a row. at least, not the whole container, of both, three times, in three days.

i dont recommend it.

all day i have looked exactly like i just fell out of bed. i cant get my eyes to open up.

i am both excited and nervous, for my poonem doth come to me, and i leave on the monday. i still have some things to do, and of course i just realized these things now that i have a mere 3 days left to do them. hooray, procrastination, welcome, indigestion.

i like how i can have 24 friends on my front page, and only six of them are people i actually know. the rest are bands which i dearly love. i need to update that thing... maybe one day when i have nothing better to do.

oh, cool new blogs:

http://www.baristabrat.blogspot.com/
http://widelawns.blogspot.com/
http://www.stripclubserver.blogspot.com/

i usually link but i'm too tired to tag. i think i may be on the verge of some sort of intestinal epiphany, and i'm going to get some coffee to make sure that i see the light.

hail the porcelain gods!!

sz.sw.out

Thursday, August 10, 2006

sturm der ewigkeit

i love myspace for one reason: the ability to keep up with the musicians i love and to find out who they love, who inspires them and who they listen to. i started at the scandy page, and following the trail of friends wound up in so many places, found so much new music. then i found corvus corax's page, and through that i have discovered so many new bands who are wonderful in so many ways.

i also note quite a bit of anti bush sentiment from these euro folk!

well, it is not surprising. anti american and anti bush sentiment is not only widespread but chic in so many places. but you have to remember that heads of state do not represent individuals, policy does not reflect sentiment, necessarily. generalizations and stereotypes make up much of the average persons view of foreigners and nations in general. it is a sad state of affairs, but i expect little more from the human psyche. there i go, generalizing! we are all guilty. for months now i have withdrawn my nose from world affairs and become little more than a UN observer, in that i can only watch as governments and religions vie for power and land, as religious factions hold centuries old grudges , as so many cannot figure out who is winning, but we all know who is losing. well, most of us...

as civilizations war and heal, rise and fall, create and destroy, love and lose, we have been there to both stoke the flames and put out the fires. empires rise and fall, and i will always have an eye trained on the war and the peace.

but while in this body it is inherent that i live as well as i can. i'm glad that in this age we have the internet to connect us. even as rockets fall on towns in israel and missiles are fired from jets into lebanon, people on both sides are carrying on a conversation that eclipses what their leaders say. the "leaders" of any country have little more on their minds than power and money, and

oh the hell with it. i've said it a thousand times if i've said it once.

i try to concern myself with what i'm going to do in the coming year. i've come to slightly idolize andy laplegua, because as far as music goes he embodies what i want to do: to have a project for each form of music i like. i have such an eclectic taste and i am going to make sure that over the next few years i have at least a few established psuedonyms that i will be working under. if nothing more than an idea, a few songs, some equipment and an internet presence, i will have them. there is yet a lot of time and money to be invested, but soon there will be nothing stopping me, there will be no constraints on my time and energy as there are here, i'll be posting life on a new blog of the mind. my mind. my space, my music, my life.

things are looking up, friends. and with a little effort, they will keep their eyes to the sky.

sz.sw.out

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

if i had brown skin, would you still ask after my beliefs?

today someone at work asked me good naturedly (i still cant figure out how he did this), well he didnt ask me, he just relayed the information with a smile:

"hey, somebody told me you worship the devil!"

first reaction, internally:

really? who was it, so i can sacrifice a newborn and make a blood oath to my dark red god on the eve of the full moon so that he might destroy their life and make them suffer an eternity of misfortune and pain?

what i actually said:

no, i worship cardboard boxes. that's why i work here, in a stockroom. so that i might be with my idols.

either way, what is it that makes people think they can just willy nilly ask after a relative stranger's religion or sexual orientation? why is it that they only ask white people who wear black or are effeminate in some way? the obvious answer is complete ignorance and a lack of class. the reason behind the obvious is that its easy to ridicule someone who is white and possibly of some sort of religious or sexual minority. would you ask a southeast asian if they are hindu or buddhist or muslim? would you ask any black person if they practice voodoo? no, because to offend these people is taboo, and self censorship is rampant in these instances. but the girly white kid who wears those "funny britches" is fair game. people in general are pretty stupid.

i'm sick of eating the typical american diet. i cant wait til i live on my own so i can implement a healthier regimen. i hate all this starchy meaty greasy heavy food that my family eats, and i hate all of the fast food that is available. soon i will implement my changes and i wont have to put up with indigestion and horrible shits all the time.

there are a lot of people here at work who are getting on my fucking nerves. its never happened before. i'm just now noticing that they bother me. i'm glad i'm quitting. but it's sad to have to hear all of the people that i like here say "oh, i'm so sorry you're leaving. we'll miss you, and good luck!" those people arent so bad. working at arby's is going to suck, but at least i wont have to wait a long time to transfer between jobs.

i'm sick of not having my own bed and my own space. only 11 more days. well, thats until i leave. after that it will probably be a few days before i get my own place, and a few weeks after that until it is comfortably furnished in a minimalist, nomadic style. well, for all the trouble, i cant wait to get started.

sz.sw.out

Monday, August 07, 2006

a little whateher

i have almost nothing to do tonite and the boss is out for the rest of the week so i thought i'd put down some shite.

i hate the fact that i have a sex drive. its more trouble than its worth.

now that i've got everything in order and i'm moving in 2 weeks, sometimes it feels like its not really happening.

saving every cent i have over the next two weeks is going to be rough, because i am used to drinking every nite, which gets expensive. i've got to save it all though, because the transition between jobs always takes longer than anticipated.

today, cigarettes dont have their usual kick.

i need a drink.

that is all.

sz.sw.out

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

take a look at this whateher

well! its finally goin down. i couldnt be happier! well, i would be if i had bought enough beer. but, what can you do. i need to get up early anyway. i'm moving! its a definite, people, all systems are go. i've told my parents, i've made my preparations. i have a few more trivial things to do, but the wheels have been set in motion. there is no stopping this thing now. as that one rap song says, "its goin down". i threw away a bunch of crap and abandoned the idea of driving there, because its too expensive (gas) and my car would only make it with three wings and the prayers of an entire congregation. i have few possessions left, only the necessities as i see them, and, well, there is just no turning back. there would be, if i was a weak kneed whateher. but, as they say, i aint. i'm ready to rock. there are a few loose ends to tie up, there are a couple things to do, but the workload is surprisingly slim. after this week its just a countdown, i'll have my shit togeher, i'll have my ticket, i'll be ready to go. and i am not coming back.

and you know what? it feels fucking great.

sz out

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

wierd wild and blonde

i saw crazy girl at island way. i gleaned from the conversations that she is a teacher. well whatever. but holy god when she's wasted she's like a fucking demon spawn.

"WHO THE FUCK WON THE YANKEES GAME?"

i had to concentrate on not answering her, or even looking over at her. she was sitting right next to me, and i knew that if i engaged her in any way i would fall into the trap and she would continue to harass me.

"I'M A FUCKING BOSTON FAN! TOM BRADY THROWS LIKE A FUCKING PUSSY!"

well, if that's you're opinion (SIC from 2016 omg how did i let that slip, it's YOUR, jesus fucking christ), then fine. i'm not going to argue. luckily she's a regular and six people at the bar kept talking to her and keeping her attention away from me. i'll never forget this one time, i was there talking to some guy about california, and she runs up to him (neither of us know her) grabs his shoulder and screams

"MY FRIEND WILL GIVE YOU HEAD FOR SEVEN DOLLARS!"

and when she went away our conversation resumed. he said, "hey, do me a favor."

no dude, i am not loaning you seven dollars.

ha!

i swear she really talks like that. every word she says. what a crazy bitch.

buttery goodness

a few things i needed to put down so i can ease my mind, not ferget, and get to work:

i need to find out which combination of the words "transvestite pirate vampire prostitute" rolls off the tounge with the most style and ease

for some reason, many things i have touched today have a greasy film of something that could possibly be butter

vending machine food always seems like a good idea until you are finished eating it

i know there was more, but i didnt get here in time and fergot. more later tonite.

Monday, July 24, 2006

lets give em somethin ta blog about

how about people you meet at the bar, the baa-aar aaaarrrr

you had to be there. obviously your werent, for i was alone. alone but for the people i was listening to next to me at the bar, alone but for the girl who waitresses there now, and alone but for the girl i knew from a coffeeshop long deceased, who told me she got arrested for possession. shitty!

oh, what a grand few minutes it was. since my drivers side window is busted out, i could only stay for a few minutes. so i ordered a lickin toad (which i now know consists of red bull, vodka, and some blue liquer, probably curacao), a jager bomb, and a vodka tonic. i killed all 3 in ten minutes so i could get back outside before someone jacked the face off my cd player. its amazing how no matter what bar i go to, there are always some people i know. if not that, then there is always the person who wants to get to know me, which i dont care for at all, unless you fit a specific description with details too numerous to list here. the only reason i wound up at this particular bar is because my usual dive closed up shop. a while back the owners got busted because they were running all kinds of colors out that bitch, white and brown being the most prominent. once they got busted, the clientele moved on, leaving only a few die hard regulars to keep it afloat. well, that didnt last too long. when i drove by tonite, it was dark as a poonem's puh. i think they have done gone and closed up shop for good. well, without the extra drug income to launder, i guess they just didnt have enough to keep it open. it sucks because there is no other dive bar near my house, and the closest bar beyond that is not a dive at all, in fact its quite nice, and the drinks are a bit more expensive.

ROTERSAND!

so i saw the chick i used to hang with, who the last two times i saw her was with some insanely jealous boyfriend (a different one each time) so we couldnt talk. i keep meaning to ask her if her taste in insanely jealous men has died away. then i saw the girl from the coffee shop, who i would never in a hundred years (after that, probably) have thought would get caught up in the drug scene and get nabbed for possession. but, such is life in a small town. the girl next door is also the girl with the oppressive coke habit.

now we begin another week, monday, the day to end all days, draws to a close and finds me trying to catch a buzz as usual.

what is that infernal beeping sound?

and with no one to talk to, i must turn to thee, ole blog. ye wonder of the internets. giving me a space to write, when i neher considered myself a writer, giving me a chance to publish my "work", so that other people might see. glory of chite, it is. you know, budweiser is so god damn watery. whereas i may drink six grolsch, heini or pilsner urquell on a weeknight, i swear i need like ten of these things to feel sufficiently buzzworthy. and as far as domestic beer, it only gets worse from there.

i'm leaving here soon, and i have only told the most cursory of people. i told the lady at the credit union when i inquired as to how much of a bitch it is to close an account, i told the waitress at the bar, i think i have told like one other person. but i havent said shit to the people it might mean something to. my family, mostly. but really, what the hell does it matter. i neher see them anyway, what with our schedules being completely opposite. i keep envisioning the day when my mom calls me to tell me her mother has passed, and i will have to pretend to care, although i dont know how to do so, and i will have to try and act like my mother and i are close, although we are the furthest thing from it. it is a sad thing when your family knows you about as well as any other acquaintance, and you have lived together for years.

but its something you just have to face. when you arent on this earth to tend to a family, it doesnt seem important. i've neher been close, and i dont intend to try. a few generations from now our physical remains may be dug up by some archaeologist, if they deny me my wish to be cremated. then we are nothing more than bones, and the conjecture surrounding us and the items in our graves. when this is over we will not want for one another. i know that i am here for several reasons, and raising/taking care of family is not on the list. i have always been nomadic, solitary and lately those feelings just get stronger and stronger. we all come from somewhere, from someone, but does anyone really care from where, or from who? does it matter, beyond the grave? to some people, i'm sure it does. heritage and lineage, and the empathy of family bring strong feelings for some. but i feel like a spiritual nomad, my soul is more compared to the body i inhabit and the people who spawned me. as much as i care for them, i can not place too much stock in the idea of a family and it's established connections. i do not intend to carry on our genes, there is no way i will eher settle down, there is nothing for me in the zombified comfort of a permanent relationship with its trappings of guaranteed sex and emotional comfort, along with a sense of economic and emotional stability. if i dont die early, i will die as that wierd old man with no family or friends, one who came from somewhere, but who knows where that is. i will pass on leaving behind me a body of work that will be noticed by few, but cherished forever in my soul, knowing that i created something more than another generation, another family to mourn one's loss, one more child to grow, live, and learn.

is there really anything else? some would have you think that there isnt.

what the hell does it matter anyway.

go read my links, bitch!


i still cant figure out what the hell is beeping...

Thursday, July 20, 2006

no more scientists

oh, but does anyone really care? about anything, really. here and there, yes, i'm sure, but i mean come on.

so how much of a bitch is moving, man? i mean really. i have to tell my folks, give notice at my job, make sure i have enough saved, roll over my 401k into a roth ira or whatever it is that you do, hope that my jalopy makes it all the way there, and a whole host of other things. meanwhile you are dealing with apprehension, because you are still in your comfortable surroundings, and you are thinking, "well, if i dont make it out by such and such a date, it will be fine because i can just leave the next month" and shit like that. one problem:

i have been thinking that for the past 5 years!

if i continue to allow myself to be placated and lulled into complacency by the wiles of this horrendous place, i will wake up soon to my 50th birthday and realize i have not moved an inch! it is not possible for one such as myself to stay in one place like this and be in the least bit happy. i have to just throw down and leave, no matter what the consequences, no matter what i might overlook, no matter what i will realize i have forgotten to do, for once i get there, i'm there man! i am not at the place i once was. sure, this will open up new problems and challenges, but they will be NEW problems and challenges! i cannot abide by this place any longer. come september, i will be posting from good ole' san antonio. this i can assure you.

perhaps then my posts will be interesting to more than 1.5 people.

sz.sw.out

bitches and hoes, you broke her nose

the highlight of my day was when daily hater (hateonastick) built in a clause in his hate for men with long fingernails to exclude trannies from said hate. why does this make me so happy? because i live in a tiny town right now and the little things are all i have. hell, all i do for fun nowadays is read blogs and flame people anonymously on the internet. and play warhammer quest. and drink. like a fish. i was quite happy to become a part of the daily hater community. i read it ehery day, so why not participate? i waited for some hate that struck a nerve and then i laid it out. and the king of all haters felt my pain and put a clause in the hate for good men with pretty nails. world of wonders, this is.

i've been reading israeli blogs to get a feel for whats up in the east. i havent gone over to the lebanese blogs yet, but i'm getting there. i managed to start a low grade flamewar with an anonymous commenter on the israeli blog i was checking out. it was quite obvious from his poor grammar and spelling and oddly shallow yet aggressive mindset that he was american. the real giveaway was how he kept quoting michael savage. it was funny to me, because he was talking about the enemy within on an israeli blog, with people who have probably never heard of savage, let alone the enemy within thing. it's a whole book, for peter's sake. this anonymous ameriki was ranting about how in a time of war, if people were protesting against the war, we would (read: should) arrest them for treason. most of the israeli and lebanese commenters pointed out that americans are always too ready to denounce that which our country was founded on. (free speech, for one)

as usual, the answer lies somewhere in the middle. yes, in a time of war (what time isnt a time of war these days, for any people of earth?) we must be vigilant and watch for treasonous and seditious enemies of our states, within our own borders, and protect ourselves. but consider the fact that now, although we are not at war with any specific country, not officially, for what its worth, we have leftist senators and congressman rooting for al qaida and hizballah simply because if the terrorists gain ground, so will bush lose ground, along with his party. no thoughts for the innocents that might die on the road to re-election. consider also the case of the new york times and its lewd and perverse relationship with the CIA, enabling them to come across valuable national security information and then publish it for the american people and those who wish to destroy our way of life to see. these are all people and organizations running free within our "democracy", and i have seen no charges brought against them. at the same time as the left tries to destroy our country under the false flag of diversity and "the common man", the right in this country is busy inviting anyone south of the border to come on in and live off of our taxpayers. nevermind the millions of people waiting impatiently in line to come to our fine country, if you are from mejico, you get a free pass to the front of the line! free tacos, and free healthcare. all you have to do is trudge your sweaty, downtrodden ass across the border. dont worry, there is no fence. just welcoming border patrol agents, and goodwill emissaries with bottles of water.

i raised the point with this fellow, that if we should prosecute simple, peaceful, (although perhaps ignorant and sometimes violent) demonstrators, then why should we not try those at the highest levels of government, and those who sit in their ivory towers of the media establishment, for their treasonous actions? for one, our system has no recourse through which the people can bring down the fools who claim to represent them and shame them in the streets. once in office, you can believe that they will stay in office. for a good, long time. representative republic, my ass!

there is no simple answer. on one hand, anyone should be able to say what they want. at any time. (however this is not the case, for many people. have you ever seen a NAMBLA rally in your downtown area? only in san fran, man.) news outlets should be able to report the news. but at what point does your speech or your news report become treason? it is a tough question. at the same time, our government is so cowardly that they are not willing to ask this question, lest they lose their precious special interest campaign contributions from this or that country club arsehole. blatantly seditious and treasonous acts have been going on publicly since day one of the war on terror. since then our troops have been castrated, our military might has been muzzled, and most have been made to think of america as one big pornstar cowboy with breast implants and a movie deal giving the finger and kicking a homeless black man in the face.

luckily, the "most", that is, the people who believe that garbage, are by and large ignorant and silly fools. unluckily, many of these people reside within our borders. and it is much easier to brainwash the stupid than those who will question your ideology.

enough! next post deals with something else. i could go on all nite about this shit and still want to hurt someone in the morning. it all comes out here, because the people i meet are too stupid to understand....

you want to know what they say? every person in this town who i have overheard talking about any international conflict? one of two things:

bomb em. kill em all and forget about it.
or:
get our boys out of there. leave them alone and they'll leave us alone. i hate bush.

yeah, real smart guys. nice options that you've laid out for yourselves. my faith in the general populous has been restored.

idiots. sheep, all of you.

feeling emotional? why not blog?

why, indeed. i'll start by apologizing to my readership for the sappiness of the last post. why apologize to your "readership" if i am the only person who reads this blog, you ask? well, i'll tell you why. because i talk to myself more than anyone else and if anyone deserves an apology for the poor writing i have to read its me. i'll tell you why not blog while feeling emotional. see the next post! (above, not below, because i'm feelin like a puh and its time to do some drunken ranting)

sz.sw.out

Thursday, June 22, 2006

70 days / to my brother and sister

approximately 70 days until i leave here to truly begin living. poi. tae bo. weightlifting. bill paying. djing. clubbing. playing music. having my own space. holy eucharist, man. it seems like fereher, but in my experience fereher is neher long enough. it goes by faster than your stepdad can bust a massive fart.

i dont care if you are happy or sad, pissed off about something or someone, or jubilant about your latest epiphany or whatever. savor that shit, because tomorrow you'll wake up and your 23rd birthday is next week.

i dread getting old. and yes, after 28 you are old. and i will be 28 in 5.5 years. considering how fast the last 5 years have gone by, i am currently trying to live every fucking day to the fullest. if you're young and depressed, buck the fuck up. dont keep that shit about you. life goes on and there is nothing more depressing than being 30 and depressed.

i want you to dream, i want you to make those dreams come true. i want you to love and hate, i want you to feel every pain and every joy. please stop spending every day thinking you are nothing, because you are everything. find yourself. make yourself. BE YOURSELF. no one else will do it for you. i hope happiness finds you. i know it will, and i'll be there as much as i can.

poonem/sz/sw out

Monday, June 19, 2006

fresh meat for the grinder

new girl started today. it was funny to watch my bosses be all nervous and fawn all over her and act somewhat foolish in what appeared to be a fatherly yet somewhat lustful happiness that she had come to work with us. homegirl was quite nervous and more than a little shy, but hot damn can she work. she came in after orientation (you know that boring part at the start of every job where they show you videos and you do paperwork) and banged out a job order that would take most of our staff (excluding me of course, for it is known that i am the man) 4 or 5 hours in about 2 or 3. i was thoroughly impressed. oddly enough, she seemed to think it took her way too long. i think this one will work out. i hope her shyness dissipates a bit as the weeks wear on. she doesnt know the art of slacking (of which i am a decorated master) either. i suppose she will have to learn, or be left behind! ha!

the kicker? my bosses hired her because of her ass. but because of the blue ESD shirt we wear, you totally cant see it! ha! ha ha! the eye runny. get it? no? eat one then. i am rarely in the mood.

lets do some embedding! no, you can keep your clothes on. unless you really want to get naked...

recently i discovered youtube, and through it, the vlog. (vidlog, for the uninitiated or acronym deduction impaired) i pissed around watching people's vlogs for an hour or so. some were cool, like the american who lives in china:



or the german middle school kids:



the german middle school kids were actually interesting, although i didnt watch the whole thing. oddly enough i found plenty of other vlogs by middle school students that were totally boring, yet dealt with the same subject matter (or lack thereof). i guess its just cool because they are speaking german.

there were an unnerving amount of vlogs similar to this one with the middle school girl talking about nothing and having on way too much makeup. (this from an aspiring drag queen!)



by far the coolest one i found was this vlog that summed up my entire experience, right down to the last part. try to suffer through the whole thing and share this guy's pain.



another interesting phenomena is the number of deaf people with vlogs. i clicked on a few and there would be like some guy or girl speaking mad sign language. and these people had some of the more interesting vlogs, because there is mad debate over shit going on in the deaf vlogging community. the one that jumped out at me was this debate over whether or not deaf vlogs should be subtitled. i totally dont speak sign language so i would have to go with yeah, it would be cool if they were. but i can see how this would spark debate.

some of the vlogs i saw were dumb, some strange, some intriguing and some were downright disturbing. all in all, vlogs are just like blogs, by and large they are pretty fucking boring, and there are a shitload of them. A REAL HUGE FUCKING 5 TON SHITLOAD. plus the word vlog is totally whack just like the word blog. but if you look hard enough you stumble upon some that are worth checking out.

so of course i have been inspired to do one of these myself. i've seen enough bad ones to know what not to do, and i've got some ideas and a camera. so when the shit blows up its blowin up like your stepdad in the bathroom after 8 beers and a can of chili, bitch!

i also need some video editing software. i cant run windows movie maker on win98, (indeed, i live in the stone age) and most other free edit software is mad complicated. anybody know of some fairly easy to use, free/reasonably priced video editing programs?

sz/sw out

Friday, June 16, 2006

death rock

two decks. mixer. mic. yes, i could do weddings. if you're into that type of thing. i want to dj at clubs. weddings, bar mitzvahs, i could do those too. but i'm not your average joe dj, i dont play whitesnake and i dont know shit about the beatles. i often fantasize about doing sets at clubs on a goth or 80's nite, but one thing troubles me. i have a pretty massive music collection. i could do at least a 4 hour set, probably more. i could make a jammin mix tape in no time. but the thing that bothers me is, does anyone want to hear the shit i get down to?

the music i like is already several steps down in any sub genre tree you could imagine. in the US, its even further down the trunk, or up depending on the graph. i know a few people that listen to the goth/industrial genre, and know a bit about the shite. but what about all the sub-genres? what about noise? powernoize? medieval electro? death rock? super pop? all of these names mean different things to different people. but in the US, i have been to quite a few "goth" nites at various clubs, and have talked to a few "goth" people about music. we can all agree that cabaret voltaire and bauhaus or joy division are gothic rock. we know that VNV and apoptygma berzerk are definitely "goth industrial", but how broad is that shit? at what point did einsturzende neubauten become "goth industrial"? how about melotron? camouflage? the only thing they have in common is that they are electronic. they are no more goth than britney spears, if you consider the image and sometimes the subject matter, but at a certain point shit becomes ubiquitous within a subculture, whether it is bout it or not.

the thing that bothers me is that if i were to dj a set somewhere, i just couldnt be sure that people would like it. not to say that's what its all aboot, but djing is about making people move, dance, and enjoy themselves while they are out. so of course, to a certain extent, they are going to want to hear shit that they dig. this is where i run into a problem. in all of the goth (using the term loosely) clubs/parties i have been to, the dj has had a very limited knowledge of the hugely varied genres and bands that make up the electro/industrial/ebm/goth (whatever) scene. their sets are limited to maybe 15 or 20 acts that everyone knows about. VNV, APB, funker vogt, skinny puppy, NIN, wumpscut, assemblage 23, front line assembly, i mean i could go on, but not on and on. if the average motherfucker from my sub or sub-sub-subculture (however deep you want to go, and it does go that deep) took a look at my box of records, they wouldnt know what the fuck they are looking at. in strict confidence? girls under glass? trans-x? aslan faction? spetsnaz? l'ame immortelle? on and on, shit that you may or may not have heard, but all of it shit that i have never heard played live here in the states. ever.

the thing that bugs me is, will my sub-sub-subculture shit fly well enough that the crowd enjoys it? or will everybody just sit around off to the side until i throw on "let the wind erase me" which i think totally sucks? i like hip hop too, to a certain extent, but throwin on a few songs that i like at a club will not get the same reaction as puttin on the latest thing that is being shoved down their throats such as beyonce's latest vocal vomit "check up on it" with its infantile lyrics, annoying melody and dirt shit drumbeats.

so i'm dealing with an offbeat culture that revels in being out of the mainstream, but they totally have their own shit that is mainstream to them, and i dont like or own most of it. i am so far down the tunnel of underground music that there may be no turning back.

or i could move to europe. everybody knows this shit there. where do you think i get all this shit from?

in other news...

apparently the folks at work have found someone to replace the somewhat ditzy but nice coworker i used to have on nite shift. she moved to virginia for some reason. she was nice and all but i wasnt too broken up about it. in my line of work you lift heavy shit constantly. yet somehow the stockroom/receiving team is comprised of 60% women. older women, with recurring injuries. women who claim they cannot lift anything over 15 pounds (although the job description clearly states that you must be able to lift 50-70 lbs and up to 100 lbs at times) but i know that they go home and do laundry, and a basket of clothes can weigh as much as 20 lbs. gallon of milk? no problem. box of metal? sorry, call one of the dudes over. i am all for equal opportunity, for you right to do the same job as me, but dont you think you ought to be able to do the same job that i do if you are hired for it?

all that aside, we have enough strong people to get by, and i thoroughly enjoy most of my coworkers' company. the last girl that worked nites with me was nice, but i tell ya she was an mtv kinda kid. she drank to excess all the time with her friends, but then frowned at me and called me an alcoholic when i related the fact that i generally drink at least 2 beers a day (by myself, oh the horror!). she loved paris hilton and laguna beach, and all that shite. she was a nice enough kid, but just way too shallow for me. for christ's sake, she would lament to no end about how her parents were, say, buying her younger brother a new car because he wrecked his, but she cant get a new car too. "but you drive a 2005 mitsu lancer" i said. "yeah but its just not faaaairrr!". i kid you not. all that aside, i digress.

i've been working by myself for about 2 months now, and reveling in every minute of it. i love being alone at work. even the extra workload has not phased me. but in order for me to be able to call in sick or take some days off without my department getting fucked, i need someone else. so i knew eventually they would get somebody, and hoped that it would be someone who could literally pull their own weight, as in i wouldnt have to lift all of their heavy shit as well as the stuff i have to deal with on a daily basis, which is the way it was with the last girl.

but lo and behold, a couple days ago i walked in to hear my two (count em two) bosses chattering about someone they just interviewed for the position. one looked at me and said "ooooh man if this goes through you owe us man, you owe us." of course i'm like "dude what the hell are you going on about" and through their ramblings i figure out that they have interviewed some young woman for the position that is currently empty, namely my right hand (wo)man on nite shift. why should i owe you? its your job to hire someone else, seeing as how we are short staffed, i'm thinking. "she's hot man, she's hot" they say. oh great, you are hiring another girl that cant pull her fucking weight around here, i am going to have to listen to her incessant chatter about mtv and fallout boy, and be her little bitch when it comes to lifting anything over 5 pounds. thanks guys, i really "owe you one".

you know, until today i really thought that most people were hired on their merits, and not their looks/race/connections. i am so totally wrong.

the really irritating thing is how they assume that i am some sort of lecher, and start telling me that i need to "stay off of her" because she's only 19. i keep telling them, i dont give a flying pig's fuck who she is, what she looks like, or whose neice she is, all i want is someone with a strong back who can follow directions. of course, this seems absurd and they havent listened to me since i started saying this. and the whole time they are assuming i am just some skag out to bag her in the screw room (we really have a stockroom called the screw room) is totally offensive to me. but i have to play along with their macho bullshit, and they have no idea about the fact that i will never have another girlfriend, nor the fact that i prefer men, because hell if i told them that then my job would be at the least uncomfortable, and at the most in serious jeopardy. yeah, it's that kind of town.

so my question is, if i'm the one that needs to stay off of her 19 year old ass, then why are you hiring her specifically because of the fact that you will now be able to stare at said hind quarters all day?

i dont fucking get it. and my back doesnt get it either.

sz/sw out.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

mad breaks

most of my friends are hippies. not really stereotypical hippies, but they like the beatles and tie dye and the grateful dead. they enjoy discussing the intricacies of beatles songs and tend to smoke a lot of dope. personally, i listen to techno and drink a lot of booze. oddly enough, i have known my friends long enough and we have just enough in common that we can still manage to hang out even with all of our lifestyle discrepancies. their taste in music is generally horrible, so i am subjected to a lot of hippie shit when we chill/party. however, once the atmosphere is loosened and lubricated by mind altering substances, i can play a little game i like to call:

MAKE HIPPIES LISTEN TO TECHNO.

its mad fun. once everybody gets to a certain point i can generally sneak up to the music box and infiltrate one of my cds into the mix. then i see how long it plays before the hippies notice and try to deny my 1st amendment right to play techno because they dont like it. (is that really covered under the 1st amendment? well it is now, damn it.) usually this doesnt last for even a third of the song, because hippie ears are very sensitive to the harsh shit that i listen to. but i will do it again and again throughout the night, without fail, until the party is over. somehow it never gets old. plus i get a short break from all the god damn beatles songs. what the hell is the deal with the beatles anyway? sure, they are one of the most influential bands of all time, and their innovation helped shape modern music, blah blah blah. i wont say they werent talented, because they were. they had what it takes to be a good band. but notice the past tense. had. i'm not saying that just because a band is old that they automatically suck, but come on. the shit is oldies, man. most people hear the beatles and think, "wow, this is a great song." doesnt matter which one, they are all great in a beatles fan's mind. but most of that shit just sounds fucking ear shatteringly putrid to me. most of the lyrics are completely trite, vacuous prose, and many of the melodies are ear piercingly shrill. not to mention lennon/mcartney's voice. yikes, man.

but that's just me, honestly. i am probably the only person on this god forsaken planet that will actually admit that i dont like the beatles. "what? you dont like the beatles? sacrilege! burn the heretic!" is generally the rallying cry. i have seriously met people that liked me up until i told them i dont like the fucking beatles, and then only tolerated me after i pandered a bit and oozed about how talented they were but they just "arent my thing, man."

today i actually held an informal, 45 second conversation with maintenance guy in which he looked at me instead of through me, and responded when i spoke instead of just rambling on. i guess the guy has his days.

what is the deal with the myspace time wasters? dont they know that there is mad cool shit to read/do on the internet at any given point at which you need to kill time because you're "bored so i'm doing this quiz" or "rape is a crime" (actual bulletin title)? i'm on myspace. i admit it. i like to check out all the bands i like that are on there, mad of my friends that arent in my area anymore are on there, its a useful tool as well as a way to waste mad time. BUT after you've customized your profile and put that song that i dont like on there (i really dont like any of them) and done about 10 quizzes and posted like 47 irrelevant bulletins and then reposted like mad more that were whack to begin with and are still whack even after you put your john's hand-cock on the bottom, dont you people get bored? dont you ever wonder just what the fuck else could i be wasting my time on via the internet? honestly people, there is a fuck of a lot more out there. it's a "whole nother" world once you get your sea legs and start toddling about the internet. this is only the truth, which i have been blessed with an uncanny ability to tell.

at work we have a cafeteria, or "canteen" as my british coworkers call it, and there are like 4 refrigerators to store your shit in while you work, presumably so it will be fresh when you get your break and you want to eat/drink it. apparently they are also there so that people can STEAL YOUR FUCKING PASTRAMI SANDWICH. i had a pastrami sandwich on an onion roll just chillin in there and as we all know i work mad overtime. so when everyone else is going home to eat their fill and do whatever it is that they do, i'm still working. and a little after everyone leaves, once i have fully used the calories consumed in my "lunch" 4 or 5 hours ago, and the coffee buzz wears off a bit, and i know that i am going to be working for at least another two hours, i get a little hungry. i dont need anything big, just maybe something like PASTRAMI ON AN ONION ROLL! that i painstakingly prepared myself! i have worked at this place for almost a year now and no one has ever stolen shit out the fridge, yo. however, we recently hired a bunch of god damn high school kids to do god knows what on the production floor. they are the only people in the plant with no fucking scruples or morals, those having been completely stripped away or never acquired in the first place while they grew up in the care of our imperial federal government schools.

that bitch had grey poupon on it. i know because i made it. sandwich thief, had you asked for the pastrami, i would have given it freely even if it was the last thing i had. but now, you will never be forgiven. you will burn in the hellfires of my dagger throwing eyes for centuries, until my omnipotence overwhelms your soul and you become no more than an endless ringing oscillation barely heard by the lowliest gutter dog, and

well its not really that bad.

but that bitch had grey poupon on it, yo!

*rolls down window* "excuse me sir, do you have any ILL GOTTEN SANDWICH?"

sz/sw out

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

damn this unholy post dawn sunshine. by the time i get home from work and get shit squared away to the point where i can waste time on the internet until i get tired (which never really happens) the fucking sun comes up. people are waking up, brewing coffee, getting the paper and having a good fart before going about their busy days. how about, like, three more hours of darkness, please?

the maintenance guy at my place of employment is a total whack job. not total, he's a good cat and all, but definitely eccentric. basically the wierd thing about this guy is that he talks to himself. more than i do. more than anyone i have ever met. and he does it while you are standing right next to him. even when he's looking right at you in an attempt to feign conversation, he is still just talking to himself. i'll try to respond and converse normally but he'll just keep right on talking, staring straight through me like some sort of tunisian warlord.

breaking news: the worst thing about my lifestyle right now is that i am near totally introverted by way of my schedule. get up at 3 to be at work by 3, get there 20 minutes late. work until 230 am. well, when i say "work" its sort of subjective because all i really do is bullshit on the internet for at least 4 hours, leave for lunch without clocking out, and then around 10 or 11 i bust ass like there's no tomorrow to make it look like i really worked for 12 hours. so far, this has been an effective strategy.

but back to my schedule and the way it has destroyed my life. everyone i know, my family (whom i live with, much to the detriment of my otherwise bacheloresque lifestyle) included, operates in/on normal human time. which consists of getting up before like, dusk. and going to bed before midnight. in six minutes someone in my house will wake up, fart really loud, and start their day as i am just forcing myself to go to sleep. so this really puts the towel on my rack, so to speak. when i could be lifting weights and doing tae bo in the living room, everyone in the house is snoring. when i could be drinking and chainsmoking by the computer (well i cant smoke inside, much to my inner bachelor's chagrin) while reading random blogs and flaming people anonymously, they are starting to stir in their beds, eager to get up and do whatever it is that they do all day. and thats just at home!

all of my friends are on this same type of normal human schedule. so while i'm busting down 12 hours worth of work in 4 hours, my friends are finishing their beers and getting ready to go home to their wives/dogs/porn/tv and then off to bed. so when i'm done at work i wind up with nothing to do but clandestinely drink at the computer and smoke outside. the kicker is that once i really get down to brass tits and i'm about to catch a buzz and maybe be able to sleep, everyone gets up, so i have to stop drinking.

i cant win. i need to move the hell back out of here. i have absolutely no problem with rarely seeing my friends or family because of our differing schedules. but if i am the only one who lives like this, wouldnt it make more sense for me to be truly alone? like in my own domain type of thing.

i think so. i would keep writing but people are getting up and disrupting my flow. i just heard a massive fart.

see what i mean?

sz/sw out

Friday, June 09, 2006

put up some new links. check em.

much love to the blogger navbar's random feature and mic litter for getting me posting again. for obvious reasons. or not.

and thanks to me for fixing the comp so i can get online at home! i'm the fucking greatest. dont you think? yeah, i thought so.

sw/sz out
three wishes...

this comes up often when i'm daydreaming. i've considered many options over the years, thought extensively on what i would do when presented with the typical genie/lamp/rubbing scenario. wealth beyond my wildest dreams? no, not really. great power and rule over other people? overrated. ability to fly? please.

think language, people. to be able to read and write every human language ever spoken or written on this planet. to revoke the biblical story of babel, at least for myself, and have every communication barrier stripped away. to know what that sign in chinatown says. to greet and converse with the indian, the pakistani, the latino, the rapper. to break down one of the strongest barriers between cultures: language. i meet so many great people every day, but will never get to know many of them because they dont speak my language, and vice versa.

civilization began when we started to communicate and cooperate. modern society would not exist if people could not share their ideas. if only i could get hold of one of those universal translators that they use in star trek to convert any language into english. seriously, am i alone here? dont you remember the episode of DS9 when quark and his brother get sent back in time/space to civil war era america? their universal translators malfunctioned? there was that whole scene where they were hitting their heads to make them work and then the soldiers started doing it because they thought it was a greeting and

well i'll spare you any more of that. be warned, the whole staticwarp thing is a not so thinly veiled star trek reference. it comes up a lot. for me. mostly because i talk to myself. a lot.

"if we could recalibrate the phase inducers to create an inverse tachyon pulse, we could direct it at the anomaly and create a static warp shell, which could reverse the devastating havoc it is wreaking on the space/time continuum."

oh yes.

but seriously, three wishes. i know what my first would be. anyone else care to share?

sz/sw out

Thursday, June 08, 2006

i work for a company called filtronic comtek, which is "like, totally international". the company started in the UK, then branched out overseas, and now has locations all over europe, a few in china, and a few here in the states. one of the cool things about working for an international company is that when they need something done in a certain location but dont have the manpower readily available, they take some extra people from one place and ship them temporarily to another. such was the case last week, when a guy named joe got shipped over here from west yorkshire, england.

he was only here for a few days, but in those days he and i became friends and i had an opportunity to get a european perspective on all kinds of things from alcohol to fights to politics and more.

i found out that in the UK people get into bar fights all the fucking time. also bartenders and waitstaff are paid a standard wage instead of working for tips. he asked me why they work for tips here and get paid less than minimum wage, and after i asked him a few questions i figured out that the average entree in the UK costs about twice as much as it does here, and you get less food. he said that when he went to outback steakhouse he had to pick his jaw up off the ground because they just kept putting food on the table, even though he only ordered one thing. i attribute this to the decrease in labor cost that restaurants here enjoy because waitstaff and bartenders rely on their good service to get the customer to pay their bills instead of the company. i then had the chance to see him tip a bartender for the first time. i found out that the average truck or SUV that is so common here would never be seen on the roads in the UK, because they just wouldnt fit!

he had a lot of stories to tell, and we talked about all types of shit. the conversation eventually came round to politics and the "issues", as it inevitably does. i found that we agreed on quite a lot of things, and were similarly frustrated at the problems facing the average citizen today. when the topic eventually came round to muslims, his mood visibly darkened. now before the liberal in you cries racism and condemns this man as a backwoods, blair/bush loving conservative bible thumper narrow minded sloth, hear me out.

he told me, in no uncertain terms, about the muslim takeover of europe. anyone with eyes, ears and a brain can see that it is happening, so long as they dont make a special effort to deny the facts and accept the media blackout. he told me about the takeover of entire neighborhoods. about how on his block he is one of the few non muslim people left. about how muslims are coming into europe and taking advantage of every little inch that the liberal and free society will give them, forcing them to surrender miles more, and then quite literally looking down on europeans and shaming them by saying, "well what have you done for us?" already they are beginning to demand that europeans abide by muslim laws.

i cant recall all the horror stories he told me. but i remember well his description of the situation. "y'see, it's like right now europe is the titanic. and we're at the stage where we've just hit the iceberg, the captain's told everyone to remain calm, and everyone's playing football on deck with the ice. but right under them, the ship's taking on water. pretty soon we'll be all the way under. that's why i'm getting out. that's why my mates and my family want to get out too."

i've heard leftist radicals in this country talk about wanting to move to europe just because bush is in office. if you ask me, a two term president who pushes his own agenda before that of the people is not enough to warrant desertion of one's homeland. an unofficial hostile takeover, however, would be a different story. perhaps some people would be content to live in europe under sharia law. america has its problems, but it's still one of the best places on earth to be born and to live. right now its smooth sailing, but i suggest we keep our eyes out for the iceberg.

sz out

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

i havent posted here in a while. today i'm going to write about why.

i started this particular site as a way to get into the newsblog/punditry thing, hence the name. i have always had a certain soft spot in my cold, black little heart for current issues, and when i analyze them and think about them i can usually come up with some pretty intelligent things to say about them. i was also inspired by the likes of gatewaypundit, michelle malkin, and neal boortz. i was also very bored at the time and i had an old, slow laptop in front of me that was only good for pissing about on the internet. i also needed an outlet with which to talk about these things without getting into a pissing match with someone who disagreed with me.

so why did i stop? well, think for a moment about any conversation you've ever had with anyone about politics or current events (i'm not talking about american idol or laguna beach). chances are it became somewhat heated, whether you agreed with one another or not. it takes passion to blog about this shit. you have to be fired up about it. why do you think all those protesters look so pissed off? why do you think the most successful pundits are perpetually disgruntled? because that's what enables you to talk about the same issues for months on end. to take sides. to care at all about the process, the politics, the people, the killing, the money, the power, the issues. after a while i started noticing the way my favorite pundits wind up bringing out the same talking points, recycling pet causes, basically becoming redundant. but they never lost their passion for what they were talking about. i did. i cant force myself to care so vigorously about an issue that i stay pissed off about it once i come up with a solution. not that my ideas will ever be implemented. but when sensible people think things through, work together to find real solutions and apply them cooperatively, things get done. our government is not composed of sensible people. neither is the majority of our population. that is why things dont get done.

i need a beer.

got it. thats why i stopped writing about politics. about news. about issues. the redundancy of it all wore away at me until i couldnt force myself to care. now i settle for reading about it, commenting on it, thinking about it, and letting it go. this site started as a place to rant about the issues. but i think that the issues are but a small part of its destiny. i'll never lose my passion completely, but i recognize the futility of punditry, and it's just not fun enough to stay mad about this shit if you arent getting paid to do so.

so the next post will probably have something to do with talking cereal, or mature water buffalo porn.

sz out

Thursday, March 23, 2006

racism pisses me off.

check out this "exercise". read it, count how many steps you take forward and back, and then tell me what you think. better yet, tell bailey22 what you think. i sure as hell did. here's the little gem i sent his way after reading this garbage:

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subject: what does it mean to be white?????

i found the "privilege exercise" on your website to be utterly absurd. if this was intended to be an exercise to see who in a group of people are privileged, you have failed miserably. this is an exercise in racism. there is no objectivity here. if you wanted to find out who grew up with more privileges than others, why does the graphic at the top of the page say "what does it mean to be white?" i believe a better name for this "exercise" would be "which one of you fits my stereotype of a rich, privileged white person". i did your exercise, and found that i took six steps forward and THIRTEEN steps back. what color do you think my skin is? with me somewhere near the back of the line, your racist mind would probably come to the conclusion that i belong to a race of dark skinned people. you would be dead wrong. i am white. i dont have any fancy, hyphenated, politically correct way to describe myself. i take issue with quite a few of your questions. for example:

"If there were people of color who worked in your household as servants, gardeners, etc., take one step forward."

what do you mean? this question is as ambiguous as it is baited. are you asking if my parents hired landscapers or cleaners, or are you asking if my family owned slaves? either way, my family shared those responsibilities. am i still white in your eyes? my mother worked as a housekeeper. does that make her black?

"If there were more than 50 books in your house when you grew up, take one step forward."

are you implying that just because someone's family doesnt read much that they are poor or underprivileged? i grew up poor, but i still read books constantly. so did the rest of my family. i work with a girl who grew up substantially better off than i did, and other than required reading for school, all she has ever read is cosmopolitan magazine.

"If you were ever offered a good job because of your association with a friend or family member, take one step forward."

i stepped forward on this one. i also have several friends of different races that work here at the same place because they were recommended by a friend or family member. again, is this exercise about being privileged, or about being white?

just what is this exercise trying to prove?

here are my answers to your "processing questions":

1) i took thirteen steps back and six steps forward.

2) this exercise made me feel angry.

3) when i did this exercise i thought about the fact that the people in this country who say they oppose racism are the ones that continue to foment it.

4) i learned that there is another racist out there masquerading his opinions in the guise of diversity.

5) i can do nothing with this information as it is completely worthless.

i look forward to your reply.

sincerely,

justin d.
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what do you think?

Sunday, February 19, 2006

ouch! my newborn cock!

this is another crazy issue. circumcision is definitely wierd and brutal. why, in the name of chut, do people do this anyway? who had the bright idea one day to slice off some kids foreskin. i dont get it, but it is prevalent in america. i wonder why...
i wonder how this one is gw's fault...
big brother is watching me...

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what do you think? i think this was a great article. it portrays as many sides of the story as it can, and opens quite a few channels of thought. discussion on this is vital. how do you feel about being watched? if the cameras are required, should the government pay for them? does this violate civil liberties, or does it protect law abiding citizens? i would have to read the legislature to make sure it is not fucked, however the idea is a good one. as long as they dont require cameras inside of a private business, it strikes me as prudent.
oh.my.god. why the fuck do these hollywood assholes ever dare to open their mouths about anything? they are no more informed than the average citizen (which is to say that the average citizen is about as informed as a dumb rock) but they use their fame to disseminate their opinions as if they actually matter. and the shitty thing is, people listen!

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"Cheney is a terrorist. He terrorizes our enemies abroad and innocent citizens here at home indiscriminately. Who ever thought Harry Whittington would be the answer to America's prayers. Finally, someone who might get that lying, thieving Cheney into a courtroom to answer some direct questions."
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read the whole thing. its garbage, conjecture, and pure malice.
who the fuck does he think he is? alec baldwin? oh, wait.....
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ouch!
think they can really afford to lose our oil business? i dont think so, but im not exactly an expert.

Friday, February 17, 2006

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larry elder says something that i've been saying for a long time... if you catch my drift, nudge nudge
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ann coulter sounds off again... i dont know whether to love her or hate her. she is one of the hottest pundits out there right now...
the west as scapegoat?

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this is a decent column, but such a shallow worldview is dangerous...

Thursday, February 16, 2006

i'm still not done with my post on iran... so i'll regale you with other news...
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replace cheney?
a good column on the big buzz about cheney's hunting accident. the media calls for his resignation, but is it a bad idea? should he continue to take the hit for the administration or should he bring in a successor?

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

google news search has just mauled my face with news. i have learned more in 5 minutes reading one column by an iranian than i could hope to learn in 5 billion years of watching and reading american media.

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check out jook leung. i found this pic in his gallery. it perfectly illustrates my mood right now.

i also found out that hegemony is a really cool word. ^_^

more to come, oh yes, much more...

];[ poonem!

Sunday, February 12, 2006

runaway capitalism?

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"Wal-Mart is on a rampage across America but no one is doing anything about it," says hardware store worker John Faenza in the film. Greenwald reports that wages and property values fell when Wal-Mart came to town.
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a rampage? no one is doing anything about it? lets play a little game shall we? its called lets be honest here. i'm going to be brutally honest and you are going to try and do the same.

corporate rampage?
wal mart started out the same way every other business did. it battled competition, it survived, it grew. so what is so evil about it now?

poor healthcare options?
i would like to know when it became a private firm's responsibility to provide healthcare to the people it employs. sure, its a nice thing to do, but is it a requirement?

"the average wage is between $7.50 and $8.50 an hour, the average-on-the-clock workweek is only 32 hours."
7.50 & 8.50? thats nothing to laugh at. 32 hours a week? about what you'd expect for your average american job. that is what we get when we work jobs like this. a wal mart employee will not make as much as say, a sewage treatment expert. but the average american may not have gone to school to learn the viscous and slightly odiferous ways of the sewage treatment professional. you need little to no education to work at wal mart, it is not a career (which those in capitalist societies should seek) but a job. the people who work at wal mart are not forced into their work. they work there because to them, it is better than not working at all. wal mart does well and employs people because of the very things that the WM haters complain about. non union employees, poor healthcare options and lower than low prices. but these people work at wal mart because they choose to, just as the people who shop there choose to. that is the beauty of the capitalist system. walmart is not putting small merchants out of business because it is an "evil corporation", consumers are putting small merchants out of business because they are opportunists, and in a word, capitalists. they will shop where the price is best and the place most convenient. these people need to realize that it is not corporate greed, but simple economics that they are angry at. but everybody loves a target...
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img courtesy of meetup dot com
the mark of the beast?

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not quite. just some security measures at a private firm. however, the idea of a global id card or, (more ominously for those reading revelations) a global id chip implanted in the body, is not inadmissable. i could see it happening within the next hundred or two years. if socialist and theocratically fascist powers come to rule a majority of the earth, it would not be improbable in the least. (i get bonus poliblogger points for my expansive vocabulary ^_^)
this man is not evil, as some would propose. he is simply another world leader, doing and saying what he thinks is best for his people (or more likely his political party). no different than any other politician, if you think about it. (although the fact that he would like to see all westerners subjugated or dead leaves me a little peeved ^_^)

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image courtesy of pub.tv2.no


ahmadinejad is calling for israel's destruction again. not surprising...

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from the mouth of the mad mullah:

"We ask the West to remove what they created sixty years ago and if they do not listen to our recommendations, then the Palestinian nation and other nations will eventually do this for them," Ahmadinejad said in a ceremony marking the 27th anniversary of the Islamic revolution.

"Do the removal of Israel before it is too late and save yourself from the fury of regional nations," the ultra-conservative president said. He once again called the Holocaust a "fairy tale" and said Europeans have become hostages of "Zionists" in Israel.
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this war has been in the making for some time. most people have no idea why, especially here in the states where many citizens are more concerned with who is going to win american idol than the actions of our government, let alone the governments of other nations and the struggles which we as a global society have all been a part of for years, whether we realize it or not. humanity will always be tribal, even on a massive scale, and tribes always make war. this is not just about israel, this is not about jews, this is not about east or west, this is mankind in his element, waging tribal warfare with the new weapons he has created. he will destroy people with his guns and bombs and he will break wills with propaganda. it doesnt really matter who wins any war, because the people who truly lose will those that are innocent and not conciously involved, while those that "win" will only regroup and prepare for the next fight, so that more can die for the ideals and properties that man is willing to kill for. am i defending war or condemning it? i can do neither. if you think about it objectively war serves many purposes, one of which is population conrol; we as a species have few natural predators. however no one with a decent heart can condone mass killing, and at times i have been known to have feelings. ~_O

Friday, February 10, 2006

we all know i believe in fairy tales...


so of course i can believe in moderate, sensible muslims! if only we heard their voices as loudly, and saw their actions as clearly as we see and hear those of the extremist fascist ideologue theocrats... (4 cool adjectives = bonus blogger points)
its getting cold in here, so put on all your clothes...


i want to go to space, but i dont have $20 mil....


thank allah for the internet...


one more reason george clooney is a pussy...


gives a new meaning to airplane hangar...


and you thought I was obsessed with myself...


read this headline and then think to yourself: "how is it secret if the fucking media reports every second of the action? just a question. sure, people ought to know, but what madness is this? who told of the secret? would it have been better for the nation of france to keep this secret? every administration has those who would tell its secrets, to further their or their party's ends. ask yourself: is it right for the newsmedia to openly publish top secret national security information? freedom of press and speech are important. but at what point does a reporter become a traitor? i would love to hear some comments on this.


i'd also love to hear what you guys think of the new blog, and participation is encouraged! all opinions, all information you can provide brings us closer to understanding, closer to truth... even if we never get there, the journey will be fun...
i've got er up and running. got my links set up for now... on to the situations and events i think you should know about....